Sponsor our TAINTs
In an effort to expand the TAINTASTIC franchise, we have selectively solicited sponsorship for elite manufacturers whose products we regularly use. These have included GoldBond Foot Powder, various beef jerkey companies, Just Born (the maker of PEEPs) and the Shake Weight company. Below are some of the communications that we have, some may say ongoing one sided negotiations, with those fine organizations.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Shake Weight Attempts
Kellie,
It seems like it's been forever since we last spoke. So much has happened, as I'm sure you've read about on our website (www.taintastic.com). Just a couple of weeks ago Matt and Marty won a race here in San Francisco. I know I already told you about the race that Marty and I took third in, but I didn't tell you about how mad he got about my race summary (read it here: http://www.taintastic.com/index.html). I named it "Reservoir Taint" because the race was held at a reservoir. LOL. Anyway, Marty got real mad when he read it so I sent him an edible arrangement. He seemed to like that.
Let's see, not much else has happened. Chris moved to Half Moon Bay, oh, and Matt, even though he is a licensed physical therapist, refuses to offer advice when someone gets hurt. Anyway, the guys all say "hi." Oh, and we haven't had the team meeting at Ruth's Chris yet...I'll let you know when we firm up a date.
Well, this is the hard part, Kellie. We only have one more qualifying race left to seal up the California Adventure Racing Association Championship. As I know you know, we're in first right now (http://www.arcalifornia.org/team_category.php?category_link=Sprint%20-%20All%20Male), but the hardest race of the year is coming up. We're really excited about it. We've won it three years in a row, but this year is going to be especially hard with all of the teams really gunning for us. They all want to know what our secret is, Kellie. And with three little words on the back of our shirt they will all find out: Sponsored by Shakeweight. Can you imagine the 10's of incremental sales that will happen just from the teams that are close enough to read that? Now multiply that by the number of teams that will see us do a victory lap, add in the number of people that will hear our acceptance speech, divide that by the number of people in the audience who already have a Shakeweight and then factor in the inverse matrix determinant and you'll see, quite clearly, that this is great exposure for you. You may have to do the math twice. And just for argument's sake if no one in the audience actually owns a Shakeweight it'll throw the whole thing off because you can't divide a whole number by zero. And even if you could, well, trying to run an inverse matrix would really ruin your day. That said, the number can't be zero because Matt owns one, so just forget that I mentioned that.
Kellie, you've been playing hard ball, and I respect that. But the time has come to shake some weight. I want to leave you with a thought, Kellie, and it's this: "Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing but nobody else does."
Kellie, Taintastic! just winked at you. Wink back.
Your friends.
Colby, Chris, Matt and Marty
It seems like it's been forever since we last spoke. So much has happened, as I'm sure you've read about on our website (www.taintastic.com). Just a couple of weeks ago Matt and Marty won a race here in San Francisco. I know I already told you about the race that Marty and I took third in, but I didn't tell you about how mad he got about my race summary (read it here: http://www.taintastic.com/index.html). I named it "Reservoir Taint" because the race was held at a reservoir. LOL. Anyway, Marty got real mad when he read it so I sent him an edible arrangement. He seemed to like that.
Let's see, not much else has happened. Chris moved to Half Moon Bay, oh, and Matt, even though he is a licensed physical therapist, refuses to offer advice when someone gets hurt. Anyway, the guys all say "hi." Oh, and we haven't had the team meeting at Ruth's Chris yet...I'll let you know when we firm up a date.
Well, this is the hard part, Kellie. We only have one more qualifying race left to seal up the California Adventure Racing Association Championship. As I know you know, we're in first right now (http://www.arcalifornia.org/team_category.php?category_link=Sprint%20-%20All%20Male), but the hardest race of the year is coming up. We're really excited about it. We've won it three years in a row, but this year is going to be especially hard with all of the teams really gunning for us. They all want to know what our secret is, Kellie. And with three little words on the back of our shirt they will all find out: Sponsored by Shakeweight. Can you imagine the 10's of incremental sales that will happen just from the teams that are close enough to read that? Now multiply that by the number of teams that will see us do a victory lap, add in the number of people that will hear our acceptance speech, divide that by the number of people in the audience who already have a Shakeweight and then factor in the inverse matrix determinant and you'll see, quite clearly, that this is great exposure for you. You may have to do the math twice. And just for argument's sake if no one in the audience actually owns a Shakeweight it'll throw the whole thing off because you can't divide a whole number by zero. And even if you could, well, trying to run an inverse matrix would really ruin your day. That said, the number can't be zero because Matt owns one, so just forget that I mentioned that.
Kellie, you've been playing hard ball, and I respect that. But the time has come to shake some weight. I want to leave you with a thought, Kellie, and it's this: "Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing but nobody else does."
Kellie, Taintastic! just winked at you. Wink back.
Your friends.
Colby, Chris, Matt and Marty
Hi Kellie,
Well, it's been a little over a month since we last communicated, and by "we" I mean Taintastic! About two weeks ago I was going through my junk mail box in the event that your emails we unintentionally being filtered, but alas that was not the case. Your lessons in perseverance are really helping us stay sharp during adversity. Just last week Marty and I were competing in a 6 hour race in Hollister CA. We were about 4.5 hours in and Marty looked at me with strained eyes as if to say, "I don't think I can carry on." I gently reminded him about our efforts to partner with Shake Weight, and he understood....if we quit, what would Kellie say? How could she justify partnering with us?
Kellie, we didn't give up that day. We continued to fight, ultimately took third place against a field that included several teams who are sponsored by national brands such as Cliff Bar and Giant Bicycles. How great it would have been for us to raise our jersey's and tell the Taintastic! and Shake Weight story to the press corp. Instead we were forced to selfishly take all the credit.
I realize that you're busy, Kellie, and I want to respect your time. We have a team meeting coming up (date TBD, but it will be held at Ruth's Chris Steak House in San Francisco). I think you should join so you can see for yourself what we have to offer. At the very least you could have a filet. And, if your don't like filet maybe we could split the porterhouse and you could just keep the t-bone side of it and I will eat the filet. We can work that out at dinner. You don't need to think about it now.
Thanks, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Colby and Taintastic!
Well, it's been a little over a month since we last communicated, and by "we" I mean Taintastic! About two weeks ago I was going through my junk mail box in the event that your emails we unintentionally being filtered, but alas that was not the case. Your lessons in perseverance are really helping us stay sharp during adversity. Just last week Marty and I were competing in a 6 hour race in Hollister CA. We were about 4.5 hours in and Marty looked at me with strained eyes as if to say, "I don't think I can carry on." I gently reminded him about our efforts to partner with Shake Weight, and he understood....if we quit, what would Kellie say? How could she justify partnering with us?
Kellie, we didn't give up that day. We continued to fight, ultimately took third place against a field that included several teams who are sponsored by national brands such as Cliff Bar and Giant Bicycles. How great it would have been for us to raise our jersey's and tell the Taintastic! and Shake Weight story to the press corp. Instead we were forced to selfishly take all the credit.
I realize that you're busy, Kellie, and I want to respect your time. We have a team meeting coming up (date TBD, but it will be held at Ruth's Chris Steak House in San Francisco). I think you should join so you can see for yourself what we have to offer. At the very least you could have a filet. And, if your don't like filet maybe we could split the porterhouse and you could just keep the t-bone side of it and I will eat the filet. We can work that out at dinner. You don't need to think about it now.
Thanks, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Colby and Taintastic!
Ms. Kellie Cagle
Communications Director
fitnessiQ
Dear Ms. Cagle,
I hope this finds you enjoying a mid summer's afternoon. I'm writing to you today in hopes of engaging your organization in an exciting sponsorship opportunity in an untapped marketing channel with vast reach into what I would identify as your target audience.
Adventure Racing. There are hundreds of events in California alone, with thousands of teams participating. Current projections suggest that the number of people either participating in, or attending these events will quadruple by the year 2014.* This represents a unique opportunity to message men and women ages 18-40 who are physically active, health-minded, and searching for a competitive edge. Vast amounts of market research shows that brand association with elite adventure racing teams will grow awareness, market share and penetration of products.** In fact, sales have been shown to increase up to 12% in the first year of association alone.** Enter Taintastic!
My name is Colby and, together with my friends Marty, Matt and Chris, I race on Team Taintastic! We have been competing together for many years now and have had great success and exposure in and around the state of California. In fact, we have won the Big Blue Adventure Racing Series (http://www.bigblueadventure.com/pub/main.asp?daPageID=237) three years in a row, and the NORCAL Adventure Racing Series (http://www.norcal-ar.com/) two years in row. I'm happy to report that mid-way through the 2011 season we are stronger than ever (in part due to your product, The Shake Weight) and are currently atop the leaders board once again.
I've included in this email previous attempts to contact your organization, however after some research found that I was sending them to the customer service address where they were likely read (and discarded) by someone who couldn't recognize the almost limitless potential of a partnership. I'm hoping that you can point us in the right direction.
Here's our proposition: We are a great Adventure Racing Team. You are a great fitness organization and have an outstanding product. We should partner together. Here is the link to our website (http://www.taintastic.com/) so that you can research who we are and what we're about. Also, attached please find a mock up of our new team jersey (below). Please note the unintentional similarities between our logo and yours. The use of the parentheses just goes to show once again the the synergies of our respective institutions. We think the only thing missing on our logo is "Sponsored by Shake Weight!"
Please read below for additional information and context behind our proposition. The investment from your organization is minimal, and we would love to discuss one or all of the following:
-The use of your logo
-Dry fit t-shirts with our new combined logos
-Matching dry fit shorts
-Race entry fees
-A couple of new Shake Weights for our team (or more specifically, Marty) to train with
-A hybrid car (or a Volkswagen Bug Convertible) with our logos on it
Kellie (can I call you Kellie?), thank you for your time and consideration. As you can see from this, as well as the below emails, we sincerely wish to have Shake Weight as our first, and as such most prominent, sponsor. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Kindest regards,
Colby, and Team Taintastic!
Communications Director
fitnessiQ
Dear Ms. Cagle,
I hope this finds you enjoying a mid summer's afternoon. I'm writing to you today in hopes of engaging your organization in an exciting sponsorship opportunity in an untapped marketing channel with vast reach into what I would identify as your target audience.
Adventure Racing. There are hundreds of events in California alone, with thousands of teams participating. Current projections suggest that the number of people either participating in, or attending these events will quadruple by the year 2014.* This represents a unique opportunity to message men and women ages 18-40 who are physically active, health-minded, and searching for a competitive edge. Vast amounts of market research shows that brand association with elite adventure racing teams will grow awareness, market share and penetration of products.** In fact, sales have been shown to increase up to 12% in the first year of association alone.** Enter Taintastic!
My name is Colby and, together with my friends Marty, Matt and Chris, I race on Team Taintastic! We have been competing together for many years now and have had great success and exposure in and around the state of California. In fact, we have won the Big Blue Adventure Racing Series (http://www.bigblueadventure.com/pub/main.asp?daPageID=237) three years in a row, and the NORCAL Adventure Racing Series (http://www.norcal-ar.com/) two years in row. I'm happy to report that mid-way through the 2011 season we are stronger than ever (in part due to your product, The Shake Weight) and are currently atop the leaders board once again.
I've included in this email previous attempts to contact your organization, however after some research found that I was sending them to the customer service address where they were likely read (and discarded) by someone who couldn't recognize the almost limitless potential of a partnership. I'm hoping that you can point us in the right direction.
Here's our proposition: We are a great Adventure Racing Team. You are a great fitness organization and have an outstanding product. We should partner together. Here is the link to our website (http://www.taintastic.com/) so that you can research who we are and what we're about. Also, attached please find a mock up of our new team jersey (below). Please note the unintentional similarities between our logo and yours. The use of the parentheses just goes to show once again the the synergies of our respective institutions. We think the only thing missing on our logo is "Sponsored by Shake Weight!"
Please read below for additional information and context behind our proposition. The investment from your organization is minimal, and we would love to discuss one or all of the following:
-The use of your logo
-Dry fit t-shirts with our new combined logos
-Matching dry fit shorts
-Race entry fees
-A couple of new Shake Weights for our team (or more specifically, Marty) to train with
-A hybrid car (or a Volkswagen Bug Convertible) with our logos on it
Kellie (can I call you Kellie?), thank you for your time and consideration. As you can see from this, as well as the below emails, we sincerely wish to have Shake Weight as our first, and as such most prominent, sponsor. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Kindest regards,
Colby, and Team Taintastic!
Team Shake Weight,
I hope this email finds you well! Just wanted to provide you with a quick update on the season. Taintastic! continues to dominate, and with a forth consecutive win at the annual Big Blue Adventure Series Race at Folsom Lake, CA, we have surely secured our position in Adventure Racing lure. While our overall season points aren't where they have been historically this time of year, this is mainly due to scheduling conflicts with races due to our work schedule. We're VERY confident that we'll bounce back, particularly if we can secure an arrangement with an equally successful organization that can help us on our journey. We are cautiously optimistic with the notion that Shake Weight will be just that organization. Here's a few reasons why:
1) We have been training with your product, so we know in our heart that there is a natural synergy with adventure racing and pumping the Shake Weight.
2) We have tried competitor products (The Thigh Master, Tony Little's Gazelle, Tae Bo, and The Abdomenizer) and they just don't cut it. While we are reserving the right to contact them to gauge their interest in partnering with us, we would much rather be associated with the Shake Weight (and not just because we think Tony Little is an asshole).
3) We are your target audience. We guarantee that we will increase impressions with males from 18-40. Everyone on the California Adventure Race Circuit know us (because we've won the series 3 years running), and we will make damn sure that they see the Shake Weight on our shirt as we run, paddle or bike past them.
To sum up, we are looking forward to joining this partnership with you. The opportunity is just too big for either of us to overlook. If you would like to discuss this on a conference call, we are certainly open to that, and would in fact welcome the opportunity.
Let me end on a quote:
"If a fox is unable to befriend a tiger, then the fox should create an illusion of close association with the tiger by carefully trailing behind the cat while boasting of the deep friendship they share. In this way, he creates an impression that his well being is of great concern to the tiger."
Chin-Ning Chu
I'm not sure how this is relevant, but let's not let the fox down.
All the best,
Taintastic!
I hope this email finds you well! Just wanted to provide you with a quick update on the season. Taintastic! continues to dominate, and with a forth consecutive win at the annual Big Blue Adventure Series Race at Folsom Lake, CA, we have surely secured our position in Adventure Racing lure. While our overall season points aren't where they have been historically this time of year, this is mainly due to scheduling conflicts with races due to our work schedule. We're VERY confident that we'll bounce back, particularly if we can secure an arrangement with an equally successful organization that can help us on our journey. We are cautiously optimistic with the notion that Shake Weight will be just that organization. Here's a few reasons why:
1) We have been training with your product, so we know in our heart that there is a natural synergy with adventure racing and pumping the Shake Weight.
2) We have tried competitor products (The Thigh Master, Tony Little's Gazelle, Tae Bo, and The Abdomenizer) and they just don't cut it. While we are reserving the right to contact them to gauge their interest in partnering with us, we would much rather be associated with the Shake Weight (and not just because we think Tony Little is an asshole).
3) We are your target audience. We guarantee that we will increase impressions with males from 18-40. Everyone on the California Adventure Race Circuit know us (because we've won the series 3 years running), and we will make damn sure that they see the Shake Weight on our shirt as we run, paddle or bike past them.
To sum up, we are looking forward to joining this partnership with you. The opportunity is just too big for either of us to overlook. If you would like to discuss this on a conference call, we are certainly open to that, and would in fact welcome the opportunity.
Let me end on a quote:
"If a fox is unable to befriend a tiger, then the fox should create an illusion of close association with the tiger by carefully trailing behind the cat while boasting of the deep friendship they share. In this way, he creates an impression that his well being is of great concern to the tiger."
Chin-Ning Chu
I'm not sure how this is relevant, but let's not let the fox down.
All the best,
Taintastic!
To whom it may concern,
My name is Colby and, together with my friends Marty, Matt and Chris, I compete in a sport called Adventure Racing. As you may know, the sport of Adventure Racing has grown exponentially both in popularity and commercialism in recent years as athletes have begun to push the limits of endurance, and companies have identified that they could reach their target demographic through sponsorship. With that, I'd like to introduce you to Taintastic!
Our team, Taintastic!, has been competing together for many years now and have had great success and exposure in and around the state of California. In fact, we have won the Big Blue Adventure Racing Series (http://www.bigblueadventure.com/pub/main.asp?daPageID=237) three years in a row, and the NORCAL Adventure Racing Series (http://www.norcal-ar.com/) two years in row. So, now that we hit the "big time," and are beginning to venture into larger venues, we recognize the need to partner with an organization that is as committed to health and fitness as you are at Shake Weight. In fact, based on the type of upper body training that we have to do to maintain peak performance in the Kayak portions of our races, my teammate Marty Dent bought a Shake Weight about 6 months ago and has had overwhelming results. I've attached a picture of Marty below so you can see what I mean. He's in the back of the boat.
Here's our proposition: We are a great Adventure Racing Team. You are a great fitness organization and have an outstanding product. We should partner together. Here is the link to our website (http://www.taintastic.com/) so that you can research who we are and what we're about. Also, attached please find a mock up of our new team jersey. We think the only thing missing is "Sponsored by Shake Weight!"
If any of this aligns with your corporate vision, and from the research I've done it seems to, we would love to talk to you about options. At the very least, I'd love to get Marty a back up Shake Weight because he's really been going to town on his.
Hope to talk soon,
Colby and TeamTaintastic!
*I actually have no data to support this claim.
** These statements hold no merit whatsoever. They are, in fact, made up entirely.
My name is Colby and, together with my friends Marty, Matt and Chris, I compete in a sport called Adventure Racing. As you may know, the sport of Adventure Racing has grown exponentially both in popularity and commercialism in recent years as athletes have begun to push the limits of endurance, and companies have identified that they could reach their target demographic through sponsorship. With that, I'd like to introduce you to Taintastic!
Our team, Taintastic!, has been competing together for many years now and have had great success and exposure in and around the state of California. In fact, we have won the Big Blue Adventure Racing Series (http://www.bigblueadventure.com/pub/main.asp?daPageID=237) three years in a row, and the NORCAL Adventure Racing Series (http://www.norcal-ar.com/) two years in row. So, now that we hit the "big time," and are beginning to venture into larger venues, we recognize the need to partner with an organization that is as committed to health and fitness as you are at Shake Weight. In fact, based on the type of upper body training that we have to do to maintain peak performance in the Kayak portions of our races, my teammate Marty Dent bought a Shake Weight about 6 months ago and has had overwhelming results. I've attached a picture of Marty below so you can see what I mean. He's in the back of the boat.
Here's our proposition: We are a great Adventure Racing Team. You are a great fitness organization and have an outstanding product. We should partner together. Here is the link to our website (http://www.taintastic.com/) so that you can research who we are and what we're about. Also, attached please find a mock up of our new team jersey. We think the only thing missing is "Sponsored by Shake Weight!"
If any of this aligns with your corporate vision, and from the research I've done it seems to, we would love to talk to you about options. At the very least, I'd love to get Marty a back up Shake Weight because he's really been going to town on his.
Hope to talk soon,
Colby and TeamTaintastic!
*I actually have no data to support this claim.
** These statements hold no merit whatsoever. They are, in fact, made up entirely.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Jacks Links Jerky
Date: Wed, 1 Jun 2005 14:30:34 -0700
To: [email protected]
Subject: The power of Jerky!!!!
Hi there.... My name is Matt and I am from California. I am a long time fan of your beef jerky as I find it to be the most flavorful of all packaged jerky. I especially like the Peppered and Lousiana Hot Sauce flavors. For the last few years Ive been participating in a sport called adventure racing with two friends in a team of three. We are not the best team out there, but we consistantly finish in the top third of our division. Last year during a race (which can be 10 hours long!!) two of us ate some of your jerky during the race. Sounds kinda funny to be eating beef jerkey during a race, but it's true. Anyway, the member of our team who did NOT eat the jerky (let's just call him Marty) cramped up horribly and could hardly finish the race. Since then, its been a consitant beef jerky supplementation during the races. It works great!! I think the salt intake helps to balance our electolytes and the protein keeps us mentally sharp. Your beef jerky is the easiest to eat during a race because it tastes so good and is sooooo tender. So, here's my question. What would it take to get sponsored as a team in these races??? We could always send you proof of past races and finishing placement. We would just love to be running and biking around in Jack's Links gear!!! If you sponsor our races we would also promote the jerky before and after the races at the race site by wearing gear and handing out samples. Let me know what you think.
Thanks,
Matt
To: [email protected]
Subject: The power of Jerky!!!!
Hi there.... My name is Matt and I am from California. I am a long time fan of your beef jerky as I find it to be the most flavorful of all packaged jerky. I especially like the Peppered and Lousiana Hot Sauce flavors. For the last few years Ive been participating in a sport called adventure racing with two friends in a team of three. We are not the best team out there, but we consistantly finish in the top third of our division. Last year during a race (which can be 10 hours long!!) two of us ate some of your jerky during the race. Sounds kinda funny to be eating beef jerkey during a race, but it's true. Anyway, the member of our team who did NOT eat the jerky (let's just call him Marty) cramped up horribly and could hardly finish the race. Since then, its been a consitant beef jerky supplementation during the races. It works great!! I think the salt intake helps to balance our electolytes and the protein keeps us mentally sharp. Your beef jerky is the easiest to eat during a race because it tastes so good and is sooooo tender. So, here's my question. What would it take to get sponsored as a team in these races??? We could always send you proof of past races and finishing placement. We would just love to be running and biking around in Jack's Links gear!!! If you sponsor our races we would also promote the jerky before and after the races at the race site by wearing gear and handing out samples. Let me know what you think.
Thanks,
Matt
Attempt to link up with Mark Cuban and the Dallas Mavericks
Date: Tue, 11 Oct 2011 22:09:18 -0700
Subject: Two Championship Teams Come Together
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]; [email protected]
CC: [email protected]; [email protected]; [email protected]
Dear Mr Cuban, or as I'd like to call you, Mark,
Congratulations on your NBA Championship this year. I'm not sure if you've heard, but my team, Taintastic! won the California Adventure Race Association Championship (http://www.arcalifornia.org/) this year too. That's pretty cool.
Anyway, I normally wouldn't write to you this time of year because you would be too busy with the basketball season, but I saw earlier today that you have the next couple of weeks off (at least...wink, wink).
My name is Colby Leno and, together with my friends Marty Dent, Matt Sheehy and Chris Freeman, I compete in a sport called Adventure Racing. As you may know, the sport of Adventure Racing has grown exponentially both in popularity and commercialism in recent years as athletes have begun to push the limits of endurance, and companies have identified that they could reach their target demographic through sponsorship. With that, I'd like to introduce you to Taintastic!
Our team, Taintastic!, has been competing together for many years now and have had great success and exposure in and around the state of California. In fact, we have won the Big Blue Adventure Racing Series (http://www.bigblueadventure.com/pub/main.asp?daPageID=237) three years in a row, and the NORCAL Adventure Racing Series (http://www.norcal-ar.com/) two years in row. So, now that we hit the "big time," and are beginning to venture into larger venues, we recognize the need to partner with an organization that is as committed to health and fitness as you and the Dallas Mavericks are. Because you have to be in good shape to play basketball or if you adventure race. In fact based on the type of upper body training that we have to do to maintain peak performance in the Kayak portions of our races, my teammate Marty Dent bought a Shake Weight about 6 months ago and has had overwhelming results. I've attached a picture of Marty below so you can see what I mean. He's in the back of the boat.
Here's our proposition: We are a great Adventure Racing Team. You are a great owner of an athletic organization and have an outstanding team. We should partner together. Here is the link to our website (http://www.taintastic.com/) so that you can research who we are and what we're about. Also, attached please find a mock up of our new team jersey. We think the only thing missing is "Sponsored by Shake Weight and Mark Cuban. Bam!" Well, I don't know if we would actually have the "Bam!" in there. We would also try to make make sure that we develop are really cool promo video on our team, like you did for yours. It was really cool: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-3XFEIqBCs
If any of this aligns with your corporate vision, and from the research I've done it seems to, we would love to talk to you about options. At the very least, I'd love to maybe have you pick us up in your G6 so we can go scam some bitches. Dirk could come too, but let's make him pay for the action.
Hope to talk soon,
Colby and Team Taintastic!
PS, please go on "Dancing with the Stars" again. My girlfriend thinks that you are a real good dancer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkFS1aa9Lz4
Date: Tue, 11 Oct 2011 22:09:18 -0700
Subject: Two Championship Teams Come Together
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]; [email protected]
CC: [email protected]; [email protected]; [email protected]
Dear Mr Cuban, or as I'd like to call you, Mark,
Congratulations on your NBA Championship this year. I'm not sure if you've heard, but my team, Taintastic! won the California Adventure Race Association Championship (http://www.arcalifornia.org/) this year too. That's pretty cool.
Anyway, I normally wouldn't write to you this time of year because you would be too busy with the basketball season, but I saw earlier today that you have the next couple of weeks off (at least...wink, wink).
My name is Colby Leno and, together with my friends Marty Dent, Matt Sheehy and Chris Freeman, I compete in a sport called Adventure Racing. As you may know, the sport of Adventure Racing has grown exponentially both in popularity and commercialism in recent years as athletes have begun to push the limits of endurance, and companies have identified that they could reach their target demographic through sponsorship. With that, I'd like to introduce you to Taintastic!
Our team, Taintastic!, has been competing together for many years now and have had great success and exposure in and around the state of California. In fact, we have won the Big Blue Adventure Racing Series (http://www.bigblueadventure.com/pub/main.asp?daPageID=237) three years in a row, and the NORCAL Adventure Racing Series (http://www.norcal-ar.com/) two years in row. So, now that we hit the "big time," and are beginning to venture into larger venues, we recognize the need to partner with an organization that is as committed to health and fitness as you and the Dallas Mavericks are. Because you have to be in good shape to play basketball or if you adventure race. In fact based on the type of upper body training that we have to do to maintain peak performance in the Kayak portions of our races, my teammate Marty Dent bought a Shake Weight about 6 months ago and has had overwhelming results. I've attached a picture of Marty below so you can see what I mean. He's in the back of the boat.
Here's our proposition: We are a great Adventure Racing Team. You are a great owner of an athletic organization and have an outstanding team. We should partner together. Here is the link to our website (http://www.taintastic.com/) so that you can research who we are and what we're about. Also, attached please find a mock up of our new team jersey. We think the only thing missing is "Sponsored by Shake Weight and Mark Cuban. Bam!" Well, I don't know if we would actually have the "Bam!" in there. We would also try to make make sure that we develop are really cool promo video on our team, like you did for yours. It was really cool: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-3XFEIqBCs
If any of this aligns with your corporate vision, and from the research I've done it seems to, we would love to talk to you about options. At the very least, I'd love to maybe have you pick us up in your G6 so we can go scam some bitches. Dirk could come too, but let's make him pay for the action.
Hope to talk soon,
Colby and Team Taintastic!
PS, please go on "Dancing with the Stars" again. My girlfriend thinks that you are a real good dancer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkFS1aa9Lz4
